Sunday, August 2, 2009

It's About Time I Start Obeying My Father...

My dad used to say the only people you can and should trust is your family: your mother, your father, your brother, your spouse. The rest of the world can go to *%$#. Growing up I thought this was such a harsh statement. I saw my dad suffer too many times as friends that he considered family betrayed his trust, it was the story of his life, and I understood where his advice came from, but deep down I wanted it to not be necessary, to not be true.

If "friends" hadn't lied to (and stolen from) my father, he wouldn't have had to work until the very last breath he took, my mother wouldn't have to be working now to pay for a house that will never be hers, we would still have properties in Brazil and Portugal and they would have been able to spend a lot more time together than they did; travelling, being with family, helping loved ones... the kinds of things they liked to do.

I have to admit that my life so far has been an open book, perhaps too open. I also admit that trusting people and opening myself to them comes easy and natural to me. If you know me, you know that's true. But today I have an announcement to make... it's about time I start listening to and obeying my father's advice!

I am done with being nice! I am done with thinking of ways to help people before they ask for help, or even after. I am done loving and trusting someone who does nothing to understand what being a FRIEND means. If being a "friend' in this world means to be selfish, to not keep one's promises, to be slow to understand and quick to judge, to be vindictive, to lie, to be ungrateful for the good that has been done for you, to take advantage, to not be charitable... then I'm out. If you are this kind of "friend" then I just feel really sorry for you. I feel sorry because you will only end up surrounding yourself with people that are as fake as you are, and even more sorry because you could have had MY true honest loving and eternal friendship and... you blew it!

From now on I will follow my dad's words... I will ONLY trust my family: my mother, my brother, my husband, my daughter and my father/mother/sisters/brothers-in-law. Everyone else can have a good life.
Just remember that what comes around goes around, karma is a b*&$#!

11 comments:

Unknown said...

Kika, I think you are awesome. I am sorry if someone ( or some ones) have taken advantage of you. I support looking after yourself and your family first. And may you find the kind of friends that you are to everyone else.

Barbara said...

Been there and i am with you Kika. You always learn things the hard way and that is how it was with me. My mom always told me growing up that those who we can trust are: mom, dad, brother, sister, husband, they know you and what you are going through and once you need them they will be there for you. While friends... that is questionable. You are awesome Kika and i am so sorry if someone has done something bad/mean to you. I know you and i also know you don't deserve it. No Brazil sempre ouvimos falar : "Faca uma festa, e veja quem aparece, TODOS. Agora fique doente e vc sabera quem sao seus verdadeiros amigos, FAMILIA." E eh verdade. Se cuida querida!

Aubrey {All Things Bright and Beautiful} said...

Oh sweet girl! I know how you feel, my feelings have been hurt more than once and yes, nobody is there for you and loves you like your family. Even though you are hurting right now, remember that you still have many great friends and the Greatest Friend of all, right? (c: Don't let a few bad apples spoil the whole basket! And keep being the amazing friend I know you are!

Bia said...

Concordo totalmente com vc Kika!!!!! Genero, numero e grau!!!!

Tem gente que se aproveita da bondade alheia e que não merece nem um pingo da amizade e da bondade da gente! Mas... vivendo e aprendendo! E que tudo na vida, até mesmo as coisas ruins, nos sirvam de lição, sempre!

Boa semana!

bjs

SamantaTG said...

Tbm concordo.....eu tbm n dou mt sorte nao....me acontece cada coisa...sou do tipo faço tudo pelos amigos,mas quando é pra mim,sempre ´´e diferente,pq nuncam podem por 'N " motivos....
mas a vida é assim,vivendo e aprendendo a filtrar as boas amizades,as q valem realmente a pena...
bjão querida!

Adrienne said...

What was that about Kika? I hope you are doing well. You are a good friend to people but you know, people sometimes need a friend even if they don't reciprocate as well as you. That's part of heping others overcome their shortcomings and being a good example. By no means do all the work or go too far out on a limb but the goal in this life is to make it back to Heavenly Father with our family, but if you rule out everyone, you'll be missing out on growth opprotunities too.

That was opinionated but so was your post so I figure I'm fine to post a comment. Write back if you think I'm off base. Love you!

Kika VilaNova said...

Hi Adrienne,
my post is not about rulling out "everyone" but it is about rulling out the people whose actions hur me. I will not reach worthiness to go back to live with HF if I use all my time and energy on people who unfortunatelly are not ready for a friendship like the one I have to offer, because when I am a friend I do go all the way. So I will always be polite and kind to others, to everyone, but I will concentrate my efforts on those closer to me: my family.

Hope you understand what I mean. And I hope no one ever makes you go though what I have gone through recently.

love ya!

Giggles said...

Some of the best advice I've been given recently when dealing with someone who would like to see me die a tortuous death for no logical reason - Even Christ was hated.

I agree that we do have to protect ourselves from abusive relationships (that can come from both inside and outside the family), but closing yourself off completely is also not the answer.

I hope you find peace.

Susie said...

Somebody obviously did something to you! I'm sorry for that. I haven't had anybody really do that to me, thankfully, but I sometimes get forgotten by supposed friends. Like my "best friend" who "forgot" that she was going to find us a place at BYU to live together after our missions. Oops! Same one forgot that we were planning a trip on a long weekend and made plans with someone else! I stopped expending much energy on our friendship, because who wants to get shafted like that repeatedly?

So I understand, at least a little bit, without knowing what happened to you.

I know what you mean by Karma, but it's true, sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to even the score. The score is being kept in heaven, and that's where it matters the most.

I'm glad you have family that you can trust, because some people don't have that!

whitney said...

I'm so sorry that someone was so hateful to you Kika! What comes around really does go around, but in the meantime don't forget that you have so many friends who love you so much! You're one of the sweetest girls I've ever met, and I so hope you don't lose that by letting the wrong choices of others affect you. (((hugs)))

Kara said...

I'm so sorry to hear you've been hurt so badly, especially by someone who you obviously cared about and were good to. And while I completely agree that family is where your main focus should be on, don't rule out friends. They need you and you need them more than you might realize! (but yet, I do agree and think you need to protect yourself as well, am I making sense??) haha ;)
Love you girl!