Mainha

I had never been close to my mainha (mom) before my mission. I have one brother who is two years older than me and we were not super close like, for example, Trevor's brothers and sisters are. My brother would play war and GIJoes and I would play famous actress growing up. As the years passed, I think I felt a need to be closer to my brother because I would follow him everywhere and do "boy things." I got into skating, motorcycles, climbing trees and jumping off roofs. I was always a daddy's girl, whatever I wanted I got it after giving my dad a hug, and I took fully advantage of that (who wouldn't?!). When I was 11 we moved to Portugal. Until then, believe it or not, I was SUPER shy. I had a stutter problem (still have it when I speak Portuguese, go figure) and even after going to multiple speak therapists and specialists, I still couldn't speak a simple word in less than 10 seconds. It was bad! And kids teased me all the time about it, so I became more shy by the hour. So we move to Portugal and there I, again, would follow my brother who made friends in two seconds and was loved by everybody. I got in his male waterpolo team and rode motorcycles and went clubbing with him every weekend. That is when I kinda distanced myself from mainha. She was the one who imposed discipline and hard work and I thought she didn't understand me. I, in my early teenage years, needed a lot of understanding! Mainha was always girly and I rebelled by going into a goth phase. My hair was super short, I wore black all the time, even black lipstick. Crazy or not, I made friends in Portugal, friends that I still hang out with whenever I visit the country and with whom I exchange emails, pictures, news.

When I was 15 we moved back to Brazil. I was irate. I asked them to stay with my friends but, of course, that was a negative. My friends from Portugal were the only friends I had ever made in my life and I did not want to be away from them. I threatened suicide, I became even more goth, rebellious, b*tchy, I was just mean. Through all that I don't remember my mother ever raising her voice to me or "losing it". I remember saying mean things to her and making her cry, but I don't remember her ever being "mean" back.

So when I am 16 the LDS sister missionaries knock on our door, asking for water (I later learned that was a TRICK to get into people's houses, I did that lots of times on my mission, hee hee). Mainha asked them if they could help me because I needed religion. I was then about to graduate from a catholic highschool full of nuns who I think didn't like me very much. I was a very good athlete at that school and brought in lots of swimming, gymnastics, basketball and dance medals BUT I also skipped classes, didn't wear the uniform as we were supposed to and sat in the back with the noisy boys making fun of the teachers and studious peeps. At least I was having fun, I thought.

The sisters start teaching me and I start changing. Mainha was loving this! I "escaped" baptism a couple of times but one morning in November 1994 I woke up feeling that THAT was the day I was supposed to be baptized. A few weeks after my baptism into the LDS church, mainha was baptized as well. She had been raised as a catholic/espiritist (don't know if that's what it's called, they believe in reincarnation, etc) and a friend told her of the horrible things that happen at the mormons' church and my mom decided to join to watch me and make sure I wa "safe". She gained a testimony and is active till this day.

This is an introduction to what I really want to share today.

Todays is mainha's birthday! She turns 59 with the body or a 39 year old woman. She is beautiful and I love her!

I am sure that my LDS mission saved my relationship with mainha. I remember that she didn't approve of me going when I went because it was my last year of college and she thought I should wait until I got my diploma. But I knew that I had to go then, or I probably wouldn't go at all. Even wishing I would wait a few months, mainha did what a mom does: in the end, she respected and supported my decision to go. She wrote me every.single.week! It was a mission rule to write to our families so I wrote her back. She sent me packages and was involved in praying for my safety and success. As I wrote mainha, I started signing my letters with "te amo", which means I love you. Till this day I always sign my emails to mainha and end our online or phone conversations with "te amo," lots of times. And she knows I mean it.

I feel bad for all the time wasted in my teenage years when I didn't appreciate her. I feel awful about that, really. When I found out I was pregnant with Olivia and started discovering what a mother's love is, I called her and, in tears, asked for her forgiveness for being such a brat in the past. She laughed and said "you need some rest, you're going coocoo, I don't save in my memory anything that might have been bad, you were always my crystal and I could never love you any less." And that is just how she is.

She is an example of unconditional love, patience, dedication, loyalty and charity. I cannot count how many people she has helped change lives and I don't know of any one person who has something negative to say about mainha. All my friends love her, and there really isn't any reason not to. She makes everybody feel comfortable and have a good time. She is also one of the funniest human beings I know! Helga and I actually thought of writing a book called "Mainha's Quotes" cuz some things that come out of her mouth are just... funny! Whenever we go to Portugal she is always surrounded by activities and people who love her. She is trully an amazing woman that everyone wants to have around.

I can only hope that Olivia will love me as much as I love her. I hope I will always treat Olivia with the same kindness, interest, respect, care, sweetness, LOVE, as mainha always treated me. I suffer everyday from being so far away from her but I love knowing that we will be sealed one day and our family will be eternal after this life.

I will never ever EVER be able to repay her for everthing she has done to me and for me. I told you before how she took care of me when I had Olivia. She bathed me for the entire month that she was here after the c-section, she massaged my feet and legs, she made all the meals and brought them to me, she stayed with Olivia every night so I could sleep, she cleaned, she did the laundry, she stayed inside with me for days and days when she loves so much to be out and about. She really sacrificed, but isn't sacrifice the essence of a mother's love? I believe my relationship with Olivia will be so much better because I have this great example in my life: mainha.

I feel bad for people who have a bad relationship with their parents. I know that there are circumstances in life and there are mean people out there, but I think if there is an effort, many relationships can be mended. It took 18 months of weekly letter writing to make me fall in love with mainha and be grateful for her. It was the best blessing from my mission and for that I thank the Lord!

Mainha, Feliz Aniversário! Happy Birthday! I will see you in less than two months and I will hug you so much, SO MUCH that you will want to run away from me! You're my hero and I love you forever!

te amo!

Sua minhoquinha*

{collage of pics with mainha between 2005 and 2009}